Category: Love

Today has been the worst day of my life. Well let me tell you readers… Love Stinks. I think i should start from the beginning of this story…

I met John through a friend, so we’ll say. He was quite sweet to me and it was very easy to talk to him and everything. This guy was perfect. He was sweet, attractive and seemed like he cared as well as some other element that I will not mention. He was perfect!!!! That probably should have been my red flag though. We talked on the phone, texting and actual talking, quite often. His voice was actually soothing for some wierd reason i will never understand.

It wasn’t long before he started calling me baby and baby and lover. Every time he called me this, it warmed me up and it made me so so happy. It made me feel like he wanted me and he cared and he actually wanted to be with me. I started to call him by the same names and it made me even more happier. He also moved very quickly on telling me that he loved me. It was random and i did not expect it.

Recently, i met up with him. He lives in Virginia while i am in Maryland. I brought my friend along and it was going okay. I was nervous and so was he, or so I thought. We walked around the mall near where he lived and it was good. I was enjoying actually seeing him and i thought he was enjoying it right back. We then left and had to drop him off at his “bible study”. He was there for about an hour.

Meanwhile, me and my friend, Bridget, and I went to the bank to check how much money i had in my checking account and to RadioShack to get a new phone case for my phone. I got one and it was a nice red color with a hard back. Its a really good case, by the way.

After John got done with his “Bible Study”, we got him back and drove to Red Robin. I was kinda hungry and wanted to eat something as i was still getting over a nasty hangover. While we were driving to Red Robin, he put his hat on me, which made me giggle because HE put HIS hat on ME. I was in heaven. I felt like the night was going so well and my friend liked him and i needed her approval before i continued and she approved. This was gold to me. My friend Bridget got a burger and i got the chicken basket and shared with John. This was also something cute i think we did. It made me happy and i was excited that it was going so well.

The night was coming to an end and we drove John home since he didn’t have a car. When we got there, it made me sad that the night was over. I wasn’t ready to go. I hugged him goodbye and it was fantastic. That was the best hug i’d ever gotten from a guy that i was falling for. He was perfect but it didn’t end there. We hugged again and this time was even better. I said “I don’t want to go home” and he said, ” i know babe.” and he rubbed my back like he was nurturing me. It was absolutely perfect.

As we drove away, the song Kiss Goodnight by Gloriana came on the Radio. A perfect song it was, too. Its a song about a guy and girl going on a first date and he told her goodnight. As he started to drive away, he realized that he didn’t kiss her and he wanted to so he turns around and he goes up to her house, knocks on the door and kisses her. It was perfect and i thought it was a sign because song after song was perfect relating to some kind of dating and how they were in love. I was in a giggly mood and in that intoxicating happiness because things were so perfect. The only unperfected thing is that my phone died and he asked me to text him and i couldn’t.

Bridget and i rushed home. I dropped her off at her house and thanked her multiple times for coming with me to meet up with him. As soon as i got home, i texted him and told him how much of a good time i had that day. He said the same and said some golden words i will never forget. “I was going to kiss you before all y’all left.” This sent me reeling head over heels. I loved him to death. The night was absolutely perfect. We talked on the phone and we were going back and forth on how good the date was. He said he was nervous around me and i thought it was cute because i was very nervous around him.

The next day, we texted again and i thought i had to go into work but i didn’t. I was planning to get his birthday present. I was going to get him some cologne and a Tap Out Hat because he was into Mixed Martial Arts and the Cologne was more for me so he could smell-oh-so-irresistible though he told me he didn’t want a present but i figured we were together and wanted to please him. I went to target and while i was there he called me sexy and sent a picture of himself and i called him sexy back. When i got home i sent him one back and he called me So Sexy again. I couldn’t sleep however because later that night he had not texted me in around 6-7 hours and this unsettled me because i knew something was wrong but was upset because he was not texting back. I did not get very good sleep that night. The next morning at 5 AM, he texted me, “We need to talk about usss” and this i knew was a surely bad thing. I knew what was coming next. I texted back, “So what? You want to end this thing?” followed by another giant pause of non texting. He finally replied by saying that he really cares for me and he doesnt think the relationship is going to work out. This honestly confused me because the day before he called me sexy and he told me he loved me. There was just too many things that just did not add up. He then told me the worst line i have ever heard in my life.

“If you want to know the honest truth, there’s someone else.” This devastated me and confused me. I thought he loved me. I thought i was the one he wanted. Not some other girl. I was hurt and i had a good cry over it. He also told me that he didn’t want to text or call anymore. This made it worse and with that we ended things and he wished that i find a guy that is really good for me because i am a nice girl.

I love him still. I’m lying to myself saying that i don’t but i do. I love him and in love with him and he is going to be so hard to replace. Somehow i will have to manage to move on. The last message i will send him before going on my way will be on his birthday. I want to show him im civil and will wish him the happiest birthday. Maybe it is then that he will see that he made a mistake but i will have to somehow muster up the courage to lift my head up high and move on. I can and i will. Yes it will be tough. Yes it is going to be hard to trust any guy ever again but it needs to be done to keep myself sane. I need to forget him even though we have been through a lot and we have been talking for 3 months. I can do it. In return i hope he is happy with the girl he chose.

Love Stinks Readers. Don’t ever get comfortable with your stance in a relationship because as soon as you get comfy, it changes. Take this to heart and trust your gut. I didn’t and i got hurt. A lesson that i will remember.

Admiring the Unknown

I noticed the gorgeous boy and found my eyes unable to move, paralyzed. He seemed to have a glow about him as he walked down to the end of the street, every step as weightless as the next almost suspended in the air as if  he was an angel sent down from the one above himself.

Heavenly Milkshake

So for christmas i got a blender close to that of a bullet system and i used it today to satisfy a wierd craving i wanted today. I mixed together peanut bitter, moose tracks ice cream and chocolate sauce all together to make a milkshake smoothie thing. We ran out of milk so i just put in Ice cream and let me tell you readers that it was like the greatest thing i have ever tasted in my life!!!!

It tastes like a reeses peanut butter cup but smoother. It was fan freaken tastic !!!!

If you have a blender, a strong one at that, definately try this

❤ Your’s Always (Smoothie queen)

Plain Jane

History Repeating Itself

In my last entry, i promised that i’d tell you the story about Jehovah. Strap on your seatbelts as i tell a story of heartbreak, infidelity and long distance love.

His name was Johovah , because he was a jehovah witness. I met him on an online site for teenagers, to be in fact. He was a really sweet guy. We talked for hours and hours  on end. We never really got each others numbers because we wanted to make sure the other person was legit and not an offender or anything. After about a couple months, we finally got our numbers and we automatically started talking. The key fact here though was that he lived in California. So we texted and texted and texted. We got to know each other very well. We also told each other everything we were doing so there was no doubts about infidelity and such. We always compared what our favorites were and we found that we liked almost the same thing. It was great. It felt good too. That feeling that you get when you may have found you’re exact opposite, it feels good.

We finally started going out about 2 months after we had started talking all the time. It was in this time that we had made some really vital futuristic plans. He wanted to marry me and he wanted my kids. I was speechless when he told me this. I had never thought about that. I was young and i was in, what i had thought was, love. After he said this, however, i realized that i was trying to change him to be perfect. He was a Jehovah witness. That fact would most definitely not go over well with my family. I was not going to convert because i had already promised and swore to god that i was a catholic, which i was content with. I tried to tell him that i wasn’t allowed to marry out of my religion. He promised that he was going to convert for me. I was thrilled. Also, small details like what he watches. For example, he liked basketball and i told him that he should like football because for some reason my “ideal” guy was one that watched football. It wasn’t until after we had broken up that i realized that that was probably not the smartest decision to say to him. I wanted him and i didn’t want a version of him. Well we broke up 3 different times and got back together twice. This last time was very hard and brutal on my heart.

It was the day before i was taking my driver’s test. I was pumped and ready to go to pass my test. I was Instant messaging him from my phone because he didn’t have his cell phone. My cousin was over and decided to talk to him. They were talking and enjoying themselves. He said he was going to eat and he’d be right back. That was the last time i ever talked to Jehovah. I emailed him desperate messages of “where are you at?” and “I’m really worried” which i was. I was really worried. It has been 5 months since i stopped speaking to him. I was left heartbroken and confused. What went wrong? What did i say? What did i do? was it my cousin? I don’t know and i never will.

Today i have a new boy in my life, Plushy, my ex. We went to Chipotle with his sister and went back to his house. I met his mom and sister PlushySister, whom i enjoy talking to the most.  I also met his father and his friend IcedT, who’s the funniest gay guy i have ever met. His family is very interesting and fun. There’s a lot of interaction that goes on there. I love it. It’s also very warm and inviting though his dad is a little cold but thats okay because his mom is very warm and nice. A new adventure of history is repeating itself.  And i am excited.

❤ Your’s Always

Plain Jane